Well, folks. She's here! Maddie Brazell graced us with her presence 21 days early on May 2nd. She definitely heard my subtle whispers to my belly asking her to please get here soon because I was so not interested in being pregnant any longer. What an obedient baby!
What I was not told was that all of the things that were uncomfortable whilst pregnant, are still some of the things that are uncomfortable now, such as sitting, laying down, standing, etc. Way to leave that information out, fellow moms.
Also, and I'm not judging, but to all the new moms who took pictures at the hospital looking cute and alive...I'm not convinced you took those right after having a baby. In fact, I think you took those pictures long before you had any pregnancy discomfort because there is just no way that the joy of having your baby in your arms erased any of the physical trauma and pain enough to take cute pictures. Not only did I stay in my hospital gown the entire time, but I was so drugged up on meds (and might I add how FANTASTIC the meds were) that I could barely manage to look or act alive and/or human. So, all of that to say, I am skeptical of post-birth mom photos looking cute and painless, because I was the complete opposite on both counts. To all my friends who are on the verge of motherhood, STRAP IN.
Let's also discuss how Kyle was/is Super Dad. As I previously mentioned, I was 100% totally useless/lifeless during our hospital stay. Kyle changed all the diapers, did most of the feedings, and became a Swaddle Master, all while I remained in a drowsy state of pain medications and general discomfort. When we got home, it was like he was taking care of two babies. You know you are at a low point when you need someone to help you put on pants. (Side note: This is the second time he has had to do this for me this year. I hurt my back somehow in February that basically left me crippled for almost the entire month. Pants were a challenge then as well. Never take putting on pants by yourself for granted, folks...). Shout out to Kyle for rescuing us both all day long. And for those wondering, I can now successfully put on my own pants again.
Next, let's discuss how cool our baby is and how awesome it is being a mom.
It's been 12 days so far, and honestly, she's been so easy, knock on all the things. (Well, I say that after we just had a very restless night, but that was one time and I am telling myself that tonight will go back to "normal...."). She's so cute, not much of a crier, and sleeps pretty well. Did I mention she's so cute? We are so obsessed with her.
As far as being a mom goes, I definitely didn't think I would be a natural because I had/have a reputation of not being very motherly to my students.
I'll never forget my first year of teaching when I took over a program who had a lovely and very motherly teacher. I was 25 years old and trying to earn their respect while still wanting them to like and accept me. We were preparing to go to All County Choir weekend, and I was telling those students what they needed to bring, what was expected of them, etc. I mentioned they should bring their own water bottle to keep with them during rehearsal, which prompted several hands to go up. "Last year our teacher brought a case of water bottles for us. Can you do that?" Without any hesitation I told them no. How hard is it to bring your own water bottle? Not my problem.
Maybe that's because I work with high school students, and at this point in their lives we are trying to prepare them to be responsible for themselves? Or maybe I am just a little on the mean side? Perhaps both? Regardless, those students were quick to tell me how not cool of me it was to not get them water bottles, and I took that as a victory.
My, how the tables turn. Now I want to solve every little cry, and hold her all the time. I would say my heart is momming pretty hard. If Maddie wants a case of water bottles, I'll immediately hit Costco. Twice. Which would be tough since we belong to Sam's Club.
In other news, I’m finding that certain songs are totally wrecking me now. Call it hormones or just getting used to the mom jeans...but it’s REAL.
You Are My Sunshine - (I cannot sing it all the way through without my eyes welling up, and it doesn’t help that it’s on some commercial ALL. DAY. LONG.).
"My Only Child" by The Highwomen
Pink painted walls
Your face in my locket
Your daddy and me
Your tiny back pocket
Mama's first love
Last of my kind
You'll always be my only child
"Hold You Dear" by The Secret Sisters
You're a part of me
and the one I love The sweetest years won't tarry You will reach for me
when my arms are full And I will lay down the things I carry
And I will hold you dear While my shadow's long
and my eyes are clear I know these days will pass away So, I will hold you dear
These songs are also on a playlist I made, cleverly titled, “Maddie’s Playlist,” which is comprised of songs mommy and daddy both like, or have meaning to us, or songs about kids (Brandi Carlile's "Mother," and Dave Barnes' "Having Kids"). I’m confident she heard a lot of music during her residency in my belly, from playing guitar, to singing, to my every day listening habits, but I felt like we should dive in as soon as she had access to better sound quality. But I digress. Obviously I have always been moved by music, but now it is really doing a number on me.
A fellow musician mom told me that these next few months will be filled with inspiration, which I am both nervous and excited about exploring. I will tell you that it has not happened yet, or we are still very much on the surface level. I don't think a song called, "Your Cheeks Give Me Life," is quite ready for commercial consumption...yet.
Well, it's back to resting, baby snuggling, and trying to become a little more human each day. We'll talk soon, blog.